November 10th, 2006

Subject: torn up Time: 10:56 pm Current Mood: sad

Words cannot describe how it feels right now. My friend Danny has passed away tonight from cancer. My heart goes out to his family. His brother Dave passed away from cancer in September. I cannot imagine how the Stephensen family is dealing with it. Danny and Dave Stephensen... you will both be missed greatly. My life is better for having known you both. I think I'm going to cry.

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September 21st, 2006

Subject: SAD Time: 10:33 pm Current Mood: sad

Just found out a friend passed away from cancer... I don't know what to think, and what to say. It was so sudden. wow... Saw him three weeks ago, two days before I left, and he was upbeat. now he's gone.

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September 1st, 2006

Subject: C-ya Time: 06:35 am Current Mood: anxious

Well well... its been a longggggggggggggg while since I've posted in this thing. For those of you that do not know... I'm moving to Calgary today. Unlike some people, I'm financially prepared and have my shit together. No government hand outs are needed. No need to borrow money and not pay them back... HAHA. Anyways... I'm out... I'm gonna miss my friends. But not the city.... Anyone that finds themselves in Calgary they should let me know, and we'll hang... take care

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February 14th, 2006

Current Music: Beneath the Mire: Opeth Subject: Too long Time: 04:36 pm Current Mood: contemplative

I've been freaking out the last couple of days… I haven't been in contact with my biological mother in over 10 years. Not because we had a falling out, we just haven't written each other. Plain and simple. I of course will shoulder half the blame because I haven't really thought about it… as bad as that may seem, but its true. Now, I really want to get in touch with her. Just to let her know how I'm doing, and that I do care for her. I wrote her a letter in December of last year, and I haven't received a reply from her. Its been 2 months. Does she hate me? Does she miss me… For a the longest time, it was really hard for me to care about someone, even though she'd given birth to me, who lived half way across the world. But I do truly and genuinely love and care for her. I always have, but not shown it. That’s how I am. I'm hoping to go visit her later this year or next year some time… but I have a bit of trepidation going down there myself… I need to have someone go with me. Maybe she was in shock over my appearance. The last time I saw her in person was 18 years ago. Last time I wrote her a letter was over 10 years ago. At that time… I wanted to be a lawyer! Boy… she'll be in for a surprise. Miss ya mom… and I will visit you soon.

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February 12th, 2006

Subject: Stuff I'm selling Time: 10:43 pm

Posters: -Killswitch Engage/As I Lay Dying/Soilwork Fargo ND gig poster, signed by all band members -Deicide/Immolation/Skinless/Despised Icon/With Passion Regina gig poster, signed by all band members -Behemoth/Necronomicon/Exhumed Regina gig poster, signed by all band members -Vader/Decapitated/Dew Scented Regina gig poster, signed by band members -Bad Religion/Strung Out/Loudmouth/Belvedere 18" x 24" Calgary gig poster -Gob 18" x 24" promo poster, signed by band -Goldfinger 18" x 24" promo poster signed by two band members -Avril Lavigne HMV window hanging, huge... promo poster for first album, not made of paper(yeah, I have no idea why I have it...) -Cheryl Crow HMV window hanging, huge... another promo thingy, made of textile kind of stuff... not paper 7" Murder City Devils/Gluecifer split 7" Signed by MCD Murder City Devils- Dancehall Music 7" signed by band Black Halos- Jane Doe 7" signed by band Cd's Grade- Headfirst Straight to Hell Matt Dusk- Two Shots Hopesfall-The Satelite Years Earth Crisis- Last of the Sane GOMM- City of No Light Billy Talent- promo disc, signed by band have some more shit that I need to go through too. Post reply if anyone is interested

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February 11th, 2006

Subject: Phone call Time: 02:03 am Current Mood: tired

So I got a phone call at the gig last night @ the Exchange. The # came up as 'Blocked Id', and the girl on the other line was at a bar or something. I could not hear a word she said, and I got frusterated after a couple minutes of me yelling into the phone " I can't understand a word you're saying", or "who am I talking to..." So I just hung up. If anyone here was that girl, I apologize... and we should make out sometime.

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February 1st, 2006

Subject: fuck Time: 10:03 pm Current Mood: aggravated

I feel like shit

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January 24th, 2006

Subject: Orion Time: 08:13 am

I'm leaving Orion. Feb will be my last shows.

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Current Music: God Forbid Subject: its snowing like mad Time: 08:12 am Current Mood: annoyed

Why is cocaine so prevailent? Why are so many people I know into it? Someone please tell me why this drug is so wonderful.

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January 20th, 2006

Current Music: Unholy Confessions: Avenged Sevenfold Subject: Darh... Time: 05:00 pm Current Mood: complacent

So... yeah... What the fuck is up? Nothing really too new and or exciting with me right now. Just about quit the band yesterday. The only thing keeping me in it is the awesome people in the band. The only thing that makes me want to leave is their commitment, or certain people within that bands lack of commitment. I've been trying to do the musician thing for years... and it does kind of piss me off when there is a lack of commitment by one person, that one person who is holding the band back. We'll see. Right now I'm in the process of starting an industrial and metal band. Hopefully playing something heavier and darker will make me a bit happier. So in a couple years my friends Kaylee, Janelle, and I are going to move to open up our own clothing store. I think that would be super cool and hopefully that works out. I need to get out of here. I've been here my whole life, and its the same thing. Ignorant people who need to talk shit down to me because of how I look. Fuck that shit... It'll be nice moving to a big city where no one knows me, where people don't know what I'm doing, or who I'm doing. I've decided that from now on I'm going to see as many bands as I possibly can, even if it means I have to travel. So at the end of this month I'm off to Winnipeg to see God Forbid. In March I'm off to Edmonton and Calgary to see Kreator/Napalm Death two nights in a row, and Opeth after the second night of Kreator/Napalm Death. I'm thinking about heading to Wacken Open Air Festival in Germany later this summer too.

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January 8th, 2006

Subject: First one of the year Time: 02:34 am Current Mood: drained

First entry of the year... Happy New years you fucks! Heh.. 2005 was a great year. Good times. Met lots of new people... left my band, said band breaks up, band gets together to play one last show... kind of. good times. Fuck I'm tired right now, and a bit bummed for some reason. But I'm sure I'll get over it. ok... I'm gonna make like a baby and head out...

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December 26th, 2005

Subject: Ooh Time: 12:16 am

yepo... kiond of drunkn right now...

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December 19th, 2005

Subject: A big juicy THANX Time: 06:29 pm

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Thanx to everyone that came out to the Dirtbred show on saturday. THanx to all the bands... Activate, Upon the Ashes, Stillseed, and The Orchard for playing kick ass set. It was an awesome way to end our run as a band. By far, the best show we've ever played. Thanx to everyone that has ever supported our band, even those panzies that shit talked us... haha. Once again, thanx to everyone for the support. Look for Donny, Luc, and Aaron in their new project with Mitch and Danny of Scarifier. Check out Orion... I am hoping to join another metal band soon, and hopefully starting an industrial project in the new year. Troy, as you know, is in Into Eternity. Best of luck to everyone that was involved in the band. Some of my best memories in the last 5 years were with the band.

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December 1st, 2005

Subject: the Final Massacre Time: 11:55 am

Saturday December 17th... the last Dirtbred show ever. With guests: The Orchard, Orion, Stillseed, and Activate. $10 @ the door, open @ 7:30.... Everyone come out! http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v126/therockstar/massacre.jpg

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November 26th, 2005

Current Music: Hybrid Moments Subject: Mmm... TITTAYS MANG (inside joke) Time: 06:33 pm Current Mood: amused

Well well... Back home after a shitty, yet fun 26 hour bus trip from Vancouver. Had one of the best times of my life in Vancouver with Jd, Kaylee, and Janelle. We went down to see Children of Bodom/Trivium/Amon Amarth, and the gig absolutely slayed. Everything about the trip was so much fun... even the long ass bus trips both ways. Everyone was so dumb and goofy and it was awesome. On another note, I find myself falling for someone that perhaps I shouldn't. Life is good.

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November 10th, 2005

Current Music: Halloween: Misfits Subject: Ugh Time: 12:53 pm Current Mood: tired

Holy fuck I'm suffering right now.

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November 8th, 2005

Current Music: War Party: Gwar Subject: War Party Time: 02:19 am Current Mood: listless

Holy shit... one night road trip with Kacie, Kaylee and Janelle to Saskatoon to see Gwar was fucking amazing. Great show, great company. But I'm a bit down because of my insecurities when it comes to my attraction to certain members of the opposite sex. Fuck... I'm tired, I'm going to bed...

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November 6th, 2005

Subject: SLAVES SHALL SERVE Time: 09:13 pm Current Mood: calm

Holy fuck! Best show ever last night. Thanx to Sandi for putting on a sick show. It was fun. I find my self attracted to someone and I'm not sure what to do. HAHA, fuck, I have no idea. I'll have to figure out how to deal with that. Anyways. Life is great. Lots of good shows lately and in the near future. I hope everyone else is in good health.

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October 20th, 2005

Current Music: Led Zepplin Subject: My lil sis... Time: 10:06 pm Current Mood: calm

Just talked to my little sister. What an awesome conversation we had. I was feeling BLAH when I called her, we talked and I felt a whole hell of a lot better. Tomorrow is Chase's birthday, my nephew. Got to talk to him for a couple minutes, and that was really awesome too... such a sweet heart.

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October 15th, 2005

Subject: Hating the haters Time: 12:35 pm Current Mood: annoyed

I fucking hate when people make racist jokes or racist comments in front of me. Especially when its people I know that say shit like that. My roommates girlfriend made a crack about asians and indians taking over when a couple of asians walked by us in BP's. That made me mad as fuck, and I said "what is that supposed to mean?" and she made a snied remark about me not having fun. Instead of freaking out and yelling, I just got up and left. Fuck that shit, I've had to deal racism in the form of jokes, little one off comments my entire life, and here is someone who I know saying shit. Fuck that. I would hope that people, especially people that I know would get past that shit.

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